Madeline talked to her folks and heard that Houston is experiencing a brutal heat wave right now. Wow, that must really suck. It seems that Bergen is also experiencing a heat wave of sorts since the air outside is a sweltering 55 F. Through all my long years I have come to associate chilly weather and sweater-wearing as signs of Christmas, so all I can say is Feliz Navidad ya'll. Friday Madeline and I went into the town 'sentrum' to tour old Bergen, the capital of Norway in the 12th century (before those pesky fleas wiped out 70% of the population in 1349). The above photo is of one of the countless seafood-merchant stands on the Torget, a waterfront fish market. We bought a jar of caviar and a big block of smoked salmon, which we ate later that day as an afternoon snack (my first taste of caviar). We explored countless cobblestone streets lined with timber-clad houses, and after a warm spot of tea, decided to take the tram up one of the seven mountains surrounding Bergen.
As you can see from the photo, Bergen is the Seattle of Norway as it rains about 275 days each year. The mountain top was a public park with trails to explore, so we set out on an amazing hike. The great thing about rain in such a mountainous region is that waterfalls are as common in Norway as cowards in Sweden (I've come to understand that Norwegians are extremely patriotic - they joined the Allies in resisting the Nazis and joined NATO to counter the Soviet threat, while the Swedes remained neutral during both conflicts. The collegial rivalry between the countries is really fun to watch. I think Sweden should just shut up and get over its fjord envy). Check out this waterfall on the trail:
Norway has a very unique mythology, what with Vikings and trolls. Little boys grow up wanting to be Vikings just as their American counterparts dream of being cowboys. Of course, cowboys actually had a skill they employed for the benefit of society (someone had to help those little doggies get along), whereas the Vikings just raped and pillaged. I probably sound a little bitter about the Vikings, but every time my beard grows out more than an inch, the hair turns bright red and I'm reminded that these Nordic terrorists ravaged one of my ancestors. So I refuse to post a picture celebrating their infamy. Here's one of a troll instead:
Trolls are great, and I for one think parents need to invent more scary monster stories to keep their kids in line. Trolls sprang rather naturally from all of the gnarled and knotted trees here. I can only imagine being lost in the woods of Norway after dark... And yes Tacu, my Norwegian adventure is a whole lot better than the Baton Death March of Papua New Guinea. But before you think this is paradise, I should inform you that the sales tax is 24%, all liquor sales are controlled by and conducted through local government-run establishments (with additional alcohol fees levied), and the roads are monitored by photo-radar devices that send automated traffic tickets to your home whenever you exceed the posted speed limit (I think I can hear Nikoliev reaching for his Glock). Can you imagine that sort of thing in Texas? Revolutions have been started over less... much less... Still, it’s better than Sweden.
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